I have found a defintion at http://freakonometrics.hypotheses.org/2338, although again it is not presented as a primary definition of "tail index" but rather as an adjunct to the discussion of what they call heavy-tailed distributions. So I have had to fill in some parts to add a bit of rigor, and other people should check these parts.
The parts obtained from the freakonometrics article are in the shaded areas.
Consider any distribution $P(X)$ with cumulative distribution function $F(x) = 1- \overline{F}(x)$ defined by $\mbox{Pr }(X > x) = \overline{F}(x)$, such that
for some $\xi>0$,
$$
\overline{F}(x) = x^{-1/\xi}\mathcal{L}(x)
$$
where $\mathcal{L}(x)$ is some slowly varying function for large $x$.
The tail index of the fat-tailed distribution $P(X)$ is by definition $\xi$.
Although the freakomomics article calls this a heavy-tailed distribution, in Wikipedia and elsewhere this is called a fat-tailed distribution. The definition of a "slowly varying function" is that for all $a>0$
$$
\lim_{x\to\infty}\frac{\mathcal{L}(ax)}{\mathcal{L}(x)}=1
$$
Thus we can restate the condition as $\overline{F}(x) \sim x^{-1/\xi}$ for some $\xi>0$, where $\sim$ denotes asymptotic equivalence.
The definition of a heavy-tailed distribution given in https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavy-tailed_distribution is that $P(X)$ is a heavy-tailed distribution if for all $\lambda > 0$,
$$
\lim_{x\to\infty}e^{\lambda x}\overline{F}(x) = \infty
$$
All fat-tailed distributions are heavy-tailed in this sense, but not vice-versa.
Added example in response to comments
For example, consider the probability distribution function $$f(x)=\left\{\matrix{0&x<1\\\frac{e^{1-\sqrt{x}}}{2\sqrt{x}}&x\geq 1}\right.
\\\overline{F}(x)= e^{1-\sqrt{x}}\mbox{ for } x\geq 1
$$ For any positive $\lambda$
$$\lim_{x\to\infty}e^{\lambda x}\overline{F}(x) = \infty$$ so the distribution is heavy-tailed. But for any positive $\xi$,
$$
\lim_{x\to\infty}x^{1/\xi}\overline{F}(x) = 0
$$
which implies that the distribution is not fat-tailed
Equivalently, there exists a slowly varying function $\mathcal{L}^*(x)$ such that for $0<p<1$, $$ \log F^{-1}(1-p) = - \xi \log p + \log\mathcal{L}^*(1/p)$$
$\xi$ can by visualized as the opposite [negative] of the slope, at small $p$, of $\log F^{-1}(1-p)$ when that is plotted against $p$.
Somebody should add this definition to the Wikipedia page on heavy-tailed distributions, just above the section on Pickand's estimator of the tail index. However, I think the Freakonometrics reference is inadequate, both because it is not primarily intended as a definition of the term, and because the confusion about heavy-tailed and fat-tailed reduces confidence in using that as a reference.