The following argument works if $N$ is flat (in order for the embedding $aR \subseteq M$ to be preserved by the tensor product with $N$) and $R$ is a reduced ring.
If $a$ is a torsion element of $M$, then there exist a regular $r \in R$ such that $ar = 0$, regardless of whether $a \otimes b = 0$ or not. In this case, your conclusion is trivially true.
Let us asume now that $a$ is not a torsion element of $M$. Just by definition, it follows that $aR \subseteq M$ is a torsionless $R$-module: every $f \in (aR)^* = \hom_R (aR,R)$ is given by its value in $a$, say $f(a)=q \in R$, so if $r \in R$ is such that $f(ar) = 0$ for all $f \in (aR)^*$ it follows that $qr = 0$ for all $q \in R$, and in particular $r^2 = 0$, whence $r=0$ (because $R$ is reduced). We conclude that $\bigcap \limits _{f \in \hom _R (aR,R)} \ker f = 0$.
If $f \in \hom _R (aR,R)$ then
$$0 = (f \otimes \text{id}_N) (0) = (f \otimes \text{id}_N) (a \otimes b) = f(a)b .$$
There are two possibilities:
if $a \in \bigcap \limits _{f \in \hom _R (aR,R)} \ker f$ then $a=0$, so you may just take $r=1$ (assuming $R$ to be unital);
if $a \notin \bigcap \limits _{f \in \hom _R (aR,R)} \ker f$ then there exist $f_0 \in \hom _R (aR,R)$ such that $f_0 (a) \ne 0$, so letting $r_0 = f_0 (a)$ implies that $r_0 b = 0$.
If $R$ is unital we can do even better: considering the form $f(ar)=r$, we get $r_0 =f(a)=1$, which implies $b=0$.