When $G$ is a group, $N$ is a normal subgroup of $G$ and $H$ is another subgroup of $G$ where $ N \cap H = \{1\} $, the normality of $N$ suggests that we can write, for $n_1, n_2 \in N$ and $h_1, h_2 \in H$,
$$ n_1 h_1 n_2 h_2 = n_1 h_1 n_2 h_1^{-1} h_1 h_2 $$
and so motivates the definition of an 'external' semidirect product using
$$ (n_1,h_1) (n_2,h_2) = (n_1 h_1 n_2 h_1^{-1}, h_1 h_2). $$
However, in general there is no reason to suppose $\textit{a priori}$ that $N$ and $H$ are subgroups of a larger group $G$, so that in general we say that to form the external product we need some groups $N$, $H$, and some homomorphism $\phi \colon H \to \textrm{Aut}(N)$ and define
$$ (n_1,h_1) (n_2,h_2) = (n_1 \phi(h_1)(n_2), h_1 h_2). $$
I would expect that this would give something more general than the intuitive external product given above, since now we are using the result of a general automorphism $ \phi(h_1)(n_2) $ rather than the specific conjugation $ h_1 n_2 h_1^{-1} $. But it turns out that for any $\phi$ you come up with, this defines conjugation in the group $ N \rtimes H$.
I am having difficulty seeing why this is intuitively. Is there any insight anyone can give? Why must the general automorphism in the external construction always correspond to an inner automorphism conjugation in the internal construction?