Here, you’ll find the notion of transversality helpful (ok here you don’t exactly need the full generality of transversality, but this is still a good concept to know).
Definition. (Transversality of a map over a submanifold)
Let $X,Y$ be smooth manifolds, $S\subset Y$ an embedded submanifold and $f:X\to Y$ a smooth map. We say $f$ is transverse to $S$ at a point $x\in f^{-1}(S)$ if
\begin{align}
T_{f(x)}Y=\text{image}(Tf_x)+T_{f(x)}S.
\end{align}
If this condition holds for all points $x\in f^{-1}(S)$, we say that $f$ is transverse to $S$.
So, transverality of a map means that the tangent linear map $Tf_x:T_xX\to T_{f(x)}Y$ “has a big enough image” so that it together with $T_{f(x)}S$ make up the entire tangent space $T_{f(x)}Y$. As a special case, note that if $f$ is a submersion, then it is transverse to every submanifold of $Y$, simply because the image of $Tf_x$ is already $T_{f(x)}Y$ (due to it being a surjective map). Another case to note is that if $S=\{s\}$ is a singleton then $f$ being transverse to $S$ means exactly that $s$ is a regular value of $f$ (i.e at every point of the level set $f^{-1}(\{s\})$, the tangent map must be surjective).
The regular-value theorem is a special case of the following theorem in which $S$ is taken to be a singleton:
Theorem.
Let $X,Y$ be smooth manifolds, $S\subset Y$ an embedded submanifold and $f:X\to Y$ a smooth map which is transverse to $S$. Then, $f^{-1}(S)$ is an embedded submanifold of $X$ with same codimension as $S$, i.e $\dim X-\dim f^{-1}(S)=\dim Y-\dim S$. Furthermore, for each $x\in f^{-1}(S)$ we have that $T_x[f^{-1}(S)]=(T_xf)^{-1}[T_{f(x)}S]$, i.e the tangent space to the preimage of $S$ (under $f$) is the preimage (under the tangent map of $f$) of the tangent space of $S$.
Once you know what the tangent spaces are, you can of course figure out what the orthogonal complements are.
As for the proof, you can easily google it; you can also find its proof in Guillemin and Pollack (and see here for the motivation of this theorem (which is essentially what’s in Guillemmin and Pollack…)).
As in the case of the Stiefel manifold, apply this with $X=M_{p\times q}(\Bbb{R})$ and $Y=\text{Sym}_{q\times q}(\Bbb{R})$ and $S$ being the positive-diagonal matrices (why are they a submanifold?). What is the dimension of $S$? So what is its codimension? Hence the dimension of your $\mathcal{M}$ is…?